How To Pick, Prepare, Love, And Care For Your Pet Rock: A Step By Step Guide To Proper Pet Rock Raising (Part 1)

Step #1: Picking your rock

Depending on who you are, you'll like a different kind of rock than the other 6,778,158,004 (and counting) of us; big, small, round, flat, or lumpy, whatever. The only thing is to pick a rock that you like. Not one your mom likes, not one your friend or your grandma's elderly friend from bingo likes. One that you like.

So take a walk and choose the perfect rock of your choice. But remember: no trespassing, breaking and entering or stealing from any one or multiple persons.

Step #2: Cleaning your rock

Of course in every case of domesticating a wild rock, you must first remove all dirt and grime from all parts of the body.

Avoid using non-natural soaps or chemicals, for this could harm your pet. Use a damp, soft rag or cloth to gently wipe off as much dirtiness as possible. Dry with soft cloth and allow them to fully air dry.

Step #3: Calming your rock

By this time the rock is most likely very scared. To reduce these levels and avoid attack, gently stroke and soothe the rock. Use soft and slow words. If response to talking is along the lines of growling or discomfort, stop and try humming. Observe reaction and stop if negative reaction is expressed.

Let your rock sit for a while and explore at their will. This will help them adapt and understand what is happening.

Step #4: Identifying your rock

The next step is crucial: you are identifying your rock's face. Sit back and observe which direction your rock walks. When it turns to a sound or smell, observe what parts of it's body are used. A big part of this is finding its eyes; without the knowledge of knowing where its eyes are, having the rock as a pet will be difficult.

Step #5: Naming your rock

After observing behavior and getting to know your rock, it is now time to name it. Base the name on personalisty and what you think the rock would like. This is another crucial part because one mistake, and not only are you stuck with a weirdly named pet rock, but the poor rock has to live with it it's whole life.

Step #6: Decorating your rock

Different people do different things after domesticating a rock in terms of decoration, and there are endless possibilities.

Some popular style are paint colors, google eyes, feathers, or fur. But you can do what ever you like and make sure no harmful substance contact the eyes or mouth.

Step #7: You're done!

You are now finished picking and preparing your rock. Stay tuned to read the second part on useful tips on raising and caring for your newly domesticated pet rock.

The Shining Dark

The shining dark doesn't give light to the sun,
But favors the face of the moon as one.
Shining in the dark is a gift to the moon;
From the heart of the dark,
To shine bright through the gloom.

The brilliance of the moon sends rays into the night,
Magnificent rays of illuminating light.
Penetrating holes in the haze of the dark,
While hoping to leave its permanent mark.

Caught in the night,
The darkness swallows it;
But then come again,
The gift greatly follows it.
Then disappears again
On the crack of the morrow,
And waits until twilight,
In its infinite sorrow.

This my children would be called a poem. I will post a few poems of mine (yes, written by me) when I feel like it.

Weekly Words of Wisdom #2

Upsetting, sad, and embarrassing moments are much like a crumpled up piece of paper; they may be smoothed out, but will still remain within forevermore.

What Really Happens To Those Mysteriously Lost Thoughts...

There you are, it's a sunny day in Whereverville and you're strutting down the sidewalk to... wait, where were you going again? You come to an abrupt stop and ponder the route you, only seconds ago, were set on. Where were you going? Why couldn't you remember? After minutes of considering countless explanations, you silently concede to yourself that you are officially stumped and trudge, defeated, back home.

Something similar to the above second-person narrative (though quite exaggerated) has surely happened to all of us (usually in a less severe way). "But why?" is the real question we ask ourselves; and here's the real answer:

To sum it all up in two words: Thought Wizards. Thought Wizards have most likely existed long before mankind discovered them. Namely, ever since man's thoughts have mysteriously escaped their minds, Thought Wizards have been around to take them. The system of extracting thoughts is fairly simple. However, the processing of the thoughts afterward is extremely complex. These wizards use our stolen thoughts as a resource to perform various tasks in their everyday communities.

With their smallness and ability to become invisible, they are able to remain unnoticed by humans. Each wizard is appointed to a certain region in which humans inhabit to collect a certain amount of quality thoughts. The wizard enters through the auricle cavity and travels to the brain of the human. After performing a simple ritual, they search through the human's current thoughts and pick which thoughts are fit for extraction. An enchanted sack is the proper and, currently, only containing for human thoughts. After thought collection, they return to their own realm to receive compensation.

A source prefers to remain unidentified after revealing this information and is now under intensive protection. He also admitted that, as an act of revenge, he decided to simply tell the humankind about the Thought Wizards because of an intentional unjust conviction of a crime he did not commit.

If you incur the uncomfortable thought loss, panic frantically because there is a tiny wizard in your head, and the sudden thought change might cause them to not take your thoughts; or you're sheerly airheaded.

Weekly Words of Wisdom

Always be nice; because not being nice isn't nice.

In case you have failed to realize, I decided to post "words of wisdom" every week. Kind of like your weekly fortune cookie fortune. I will be posting every Friday.

Potatoe: Deadly disease or friendly veggie?

The Origin of Potatoe

Potatoe is an infectious disease believed to date back all the way to the 1500's. The disease is a vicious and fast-spreading disease normally inflicted to the pedicular area. The most common case consists of abnormally large inflammations on the feet of a still unidentified substance produced by the body once infected. The inflammations appear to be a series of over-sized boils which are extremely painful when any amount of pressure is applied to them.

The "pota" part of the name comes from the Latin word potaer meaning "disgusting". The ending of the word, "toe", was named according to where the disease normally exists: the toe or foot.

Infection begins at the inner sensitive part of the toe disregarding where the disease germ is passed to. It then proceeds to infecting the remaining parts of the toe, other toes, and rest of the foot. The germ is fast-spreading so can overcome the surface of the foot at a breakneck speed of only a couple hours. If untreated immediately, the boils spread to the rest of the body, covering any exposed skin between the foot and head.

Potatoe infections have been recorded since the early 1870's; after a Potatoe outbreak occurred. On August (now, statistically speaking, the month of most infections) 7, 1859, a small village just off of Milwaukee, Wisconsin was greatly affected by the disease. The disease killed the majority of residents but remained mostly in the boundaries of the small village for a few months; before it quickly spread to adjacent towns. With no warning, it spread at an alarming rate, affecting most of the remaining parts of the country. It killed about 14 million people and permanently destroyed thousands of other lives.

About eighteen years later, the greatest of the disease died off; miraculously not spreading to other countries. Leaving the United States population at a mere 14,213,000, approximately. Ineffectual research was performed for a cure for the disease until about seventy-five years later; when the serum used today was created.

Cause of the Potatoe germ has been theorized, by scientists, to have come from an alien cell traveling by asteroid. It was believed to be insentient but very infectious. The cell has, to this day, been unidentified by scientists. Complete research of the germ has been claimed as "impassable" by scientists due to the long duration of time since the original germ existed.

Potatoe prevents all victims from walking or performing any activity involving the foot. Any pressure applied to the inflammations worsens the condition, increasing the speed of the spreading. Once infected, the inflammations secrete the substance powering them and become a liquidy substance to further infect others.

Treatment includes a series of seventeen separate injections of only slightly effective serum. Immediate quarantine is required for any Potatoe infections as national law and immediate action follows. Treatment requires a minimum of 168 hours (one week) depending on the severeness of the infection. When treatment isn't performed, the feet soon become dysfunctional and after a certain state of foot infection, the germ shoots through the rest of the body infecting any exposed skin.

History of the potato, the vegetable, dates back to 1653, when the vegetable was first discovered. A Chinese man named Lee Ma Ming was infected with the disease and, the world not having much knowledge of the disease, he simply ignored it. During a day in the field, he discovered the vegetable in a patch of his onion plants. When he presented it to his wife, she responded by saying: "It looks like your Potatoe!" Thus, the potato was born.

Vaccination and a proper cure remain nonexistent and is still being studied in labs worldwide. For further information on symptoms, safety tips, what-to-do's, and other helpful information on Potatoe, you can visit http://www.potatoe.gov. Also, contact information along with much more is available on the Web.
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Vocabulary

pedicular*
ped·ic·u·lar [pèd ik yoo lər]
adj

1. relating to the foot: having relation to the foot or foot area
· The pedicular area is usually smooth.

2. having quality of the foot: having quality or characteristics of the foot region

3. foot like: being like or similar to a foot

*The meaning of the word "pedicular" in this article is different from the real-world meaning.

This article is based on strict fictional fact. Intentions are to educate you about the seriousness of the completely imaginary disease families, worldwide, are affected by. Please take this article not seriously and stay safe about the deadly disease that has affected many.

New Blog!

This is like my own personal central news network of the random things occurring in my head. There are a lot of things I invent in my mind (like random ideas; I just call them inventions, hehe) so I thought I should record them to remember them. This is a pretty pointless and weird blog, but whatever. It is what it is.

Also, I wanted the URL to originally be blogofboredom.blogspot.com but some one has that :(. Then blogforboredom.blogspot.com was acting weird so... blogdeboredom. Get it? You know, Spanish... anyway "de" is "of" in Spanish. So I bid thee a farewell for now is the time for me to depart!